Knights, Finger Food and Chivalry

add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.Hold your breath. Swords clash and sparks fly as the noble lord combats the dark knight for the fair maiden’s honor.

The dual unfolding was that of talented performers but no less mesmerizing. My brother and our friends recently splurged (there was an online coupon involved) and went to a Medieval Times dinner show in Orlando, Florida.

It’s pretty much the only place I know where you pay for a nice meal and have to eat it with your fingers. And where everyone (yes, adults too) wear crowns that remind you of your childhood and Burger King.

The story line is happily predictable. The winner of a six-knight jousting match must defend his king and lady’s honor from the scar-faced dark knight. Guess who wins.

Yes, the villain is vanquished, and chivalry rules the day.

I couldn’t help but wonder: what about today? We can all agree it’s a good thing our guys don’t wear chainmail and that we girls don’t have to suffer in ridiculously hot, floor-length dresses.

However, the nobleness of spirit and well, chivalry, would be nice.

And I’m not just talking about the guys.

We girls play a part too

The helpless damsel-in-distress is not my kind of girl. I just can’t relate to her. Shoot straight and speak the truth is more my type.

I’ve told you before I grew up very much a tomboy. One of my aunt’s friends used to insist on getting her car door and would try to beat me to mine. Rarely, did he win. Eight-year-old-me hated the idea.

Silly girl I was. Now, I give brownie points to guys who hold the door open for girls. It’s just the chivalrous thing to do.

So what role can we girls play to keep chivalry alive?

#1: Let the guy get the door.


#2: Build up the guys in your life.

I’m not saying flatter them. That makes you look insincere, fake and suggests ulterior motives.

My friend and writer Tami Myer blogs about godly marriage, and I like how she explains the importance of affirmation. Girls want love like guys want respect.

When a guy tells a girl he loves her, she pretty much melts. When a girl tells a guy she appreciates and respects him, he stands taller. As Tami and others explain, “Men spell love R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”

Find out what’s important to the men in your life: dad, brothers, boyfriend, guy friends, etc. Take time to figure out their love languages, and find creative ways to speak it. Affirm them when they do something well. If there’s an issue you want to address with them, do it in person and not in front of their peers. Even if the topic poses a conflict between the two of you, how you approach it makes all the difference.

Sure, we’re going to make mistakes. (I certainly have!) But that doesn’t give us an excuse not to try again.

#3: Dress for respect

You already know I’m not a fan of medieval floor-length dresses, so hear me out. My motto is dress for comfort and class. By class, I don’t mean dress up – although sometimes, that’s fun to do. Rather, dress appropriately. (Sometimes, jeans and a t-shirt will do just fine!)

Bethany Jett, author of The Cinderella Rule offers some suggestions, including:

  • If It’s uncomfortable, it’s probably immodest.
  • It doesn’t fit if you’re constantly readjusting something.
  • Skip the short shorts.

For all her tips on modesty and much, much more, get her book. It’s worth your investment. If you’re still not convinced, come back next week to learn more why Cinderella rules!

Chivalry’s not dead

At the end of the medieval performance and meal, the waiter left a tip tray for us. We had assumed gratuity was included with the show/meal fee, but neither my brother nor our mutual friend blinked. They both left a generous tip and thanked the waiter.

When we reached my car, my brother opened both his girlfriend’s door and closed mine as well.

No, chivalry isn’t dead. Girls, surround yourselves with guys who treat you and the people they meet with respect and courtesy.

Knightly guys still exist. Be the kind of girl they want to treat like a queen.

Whether that picture looks like Sleeping Beauty or Tolkien’s Eowin in arms in up to you.

~ Kristen


3 thoughts on “Knights, Finger Food and Chivalry

  1. Chivalry is not dead, nor is beautiful graciousness! Thank you, Kristen, for your kind mentions and links.

    Your post is fantastic. Living with respect for ourselves and others is a powerful way to reflect God. I love the creative encouragement, as well as the practical suggestions, that you give.

    We may leave the chainmail to Medieval Times, but because we are men and women created in the image of God, showing honor to one another will never go out of style.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I absolutely agree! Whether we’re single or married, how we treat one another is a powerful testimony. Thank you for modeling what godly marriage should look like at


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